Brene Brown and the Beginning of My Journey to Whole-hearted Living

Driving home from California a year ago, Justin and I happened to catch a TED Radio Hour called "Making Mistakes". The whole episode was fantastic , but one part in particular stood out to me. It was an interview with Brene Brown who is a social worker, researcher, and author currently at the University of Houston. In her brief portion on the episode, I was struck by what she said about vulnerability. In short, vulnerability is scary to us, so we find ways to hide our vulnerability, whether it be through perfectionism, shaming others,etc. What these defense mechanisms (hate to use that cliche term) do ultimately, is keep us from real connections with others and separate us from our authentic self. Her words struck me deeply, so much so that I tried to ignore what she said for a year!

I returned to her work in an indirect way through a parenting book a friend had repeatedly recommended to me called "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting". I am constantly looking for new parenting advice, so I eventually got the book on Audible and listened to it while I got ready. Yes, it taught me quite a lot about how to be a better parent, but in a bottom-up way where the change that makes me a good parent does not come from applying some new discipline technique, rather it comes from making real changes within me that influence my whole world; including how I parent.

This book rocked my world! It exposed me to some very painful truths about myself and the ways I cover them. After finishing this book, I moved into her audio lecture series, also on Audible, The Power of Vulnerability. I just finished it yesterday and still feel in a bit of a daze about what she said. In short, she walks the listener through 10 "guideposts" that come directly from her research with wholehearted people. They are

•  Authenticity:  letting go of what people think
• Self-compassion:  letting go of perfectionism
• A resilient spirit:  letting go of numbing and powerlessness
• Gratitude and joy:  letting go of scarcity and fear
• Intuition and trusting faith:  letting go of the need for certainty
• Creativity:  letting go of comparison
• Play and rest:  letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
• Calm and stillness:  letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
• Meaningful work:  letting go of self-doubt
• Laughter, song and dance:  letting go of being cool and “always in control.

Another line of blog posts I am going to start is my journey in working on these different guideposts. Suprisingly, I am not afraid to broadcast this journey to the world. I feel that Dr. Brown is right when she said shame needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgement. I want to feel with my whole heart and live life fully. That is why I have begun the uncomfortable walk toward authenticity.

If you are not familiar with Dr. Brown's work, here are a few links to get you started:

Her original TED talk: "The Power of Vulnerability"

Her second TED talk: "Listening to Shame"

The Parenting Manifesto

Shame needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgment. - See more at: http://jodiegale.com/brene-brown-15-takeaways-from-the-power-of-being-enough-live-talk-in-sydney/#sthash.FW3v8oTY.dpuf

Shame needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgment. - See more at: http://jodiegale.com/brene-brown-15-takeaways-from-the-power-of-being-enough-live-talk-in-sydney/#sthash.FW3v8oTY.dpuf

Shame needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgment. - See more at: http://jodiegale.com/brene-brown-15-takeaways-from-the-power-of-being-enough-live-talk-in-sydney/#sthash.FW3v8oTY.dpuf

Urban Open Spaces Initiative: My New Battle for Nature

In the past, I have been involved in open space protection issues centered around America's Red Rock Wilderness Act (ARRWA). This work has made me aware how important it is for citizens to speak out about how we wish to see our public lands used.

One of the problems faced by ARWWA is public land, by extension, means public use and, according to the mission of the Bureau of Land Management (BLM), public use needs to be available for multiple uses. The murkiness in the mission comes when an apparent interpretation of multiple uses takes us from multiple human uses to human and business uses. I do not doubt that many people at

Coal mining in Nine Mile Canyon

the BLM have only the best of intentions in protecting public lands, but their obligation to business has allowed for all manner of sin (Ed Abbey's word). For example, cattle are allowed to crush the tender desert soil, spreading the seed, and thus the destruction, of invasive plants like Russian Thistle (or known lovingly to Road Runner as tumbleweed) and oil and gas extraction are allowed to dig deeply into once pristine wilderness. These, and many other uphill battles faced in the battle to preserve wilderness, has left we wondering why we have to work so hard to protect the "pretty". How is it my value system, where nature is something to be held in reverence, not extracted and sold to the highest bidder, so off?

Projection of Future Land Use for Salt Lake County

Perhaps this is why, when I learned  about the Open Space Trust Fund in Salt Lake County, I felt encouraged for  the first time about land-battles in Utah. A short history of how OSTF came about can be found here, so I won't go into too much detail. In short, some foward-thinking policy makers realized that Salt Lake County was on a path toward full suburban sprawl from the East Bench to the West Bench and from Draper to North Salt Lake in the matter of a couple decades. In order to make Salt Lake County the type of community people want to live in, they knew open spaces needed to be preserved or reclaimed as soon as possible. In 2006, a bond was put before the voters to aid Salt Lake County in buying these properties. It passed overwhelmingly. In the years that followed, Salt Lake County used all of the bond money to buy 18 remarkable pieces of property.

By buying these properties, they are preseved forever. They do not have to be multi-use with businesses, they are just allowed to be large pieces of nature anyone can go to. They will never have dams built on them, never have mining take place on their soil and never will cattle roam freely. Here is a link to the purchased lands.

I believe it is time for a new bond measure, so that the people of Salt Lake County can have more open spaces (and fewer strip malls). In the past week I have started contacting the powers that be at Salt Lake County (not including Justin) and am learning slowly how this process works. I believe I now have a County Councilman who will represent putting the bond on the ballot, but I will have to do a lot of the leg work. Turns out it can't go to the voters unless at least 5 people on the County Council say "yes". It is a Republican held Council, so this will be the first fight.

I will provide updates on the progress as this long  process continues.    

How I Find Music pt.1

I have an unhealthy relationship with music. No really. I'm on a constant search for new, good music.When I say constant I mean it is a part time job. My house would be oh so much cleaner and my pantry would have pretty labels were I only to step away from my headphones and pull out the vacuum. The problem is music is the way I express myself. As a pretty un-artistic person, I feel my small gift is the ability to find really good music by very gifted, very artistic people. I love sharing these amazing artists with friends and/or anyone who will listen, really.

A couple friends have recently asked me to share with them how to find good music so, throughout a series of posts, I will share some of my most successful ways. My first suggestion is less about a place to go find music as it is about a frame of mind to take into making these explorations.

http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/02/bon-iver-needed-2-microphones-on-snl-last-night/

 I like the music I like. I personally think I have exceptional taste in music, but there are others who would disagree. For example, I hate Bon Iver (minus "Skinny Love"). I think the lead singer sounds like suicide and dead puppies. Others, who I actually allow into my home, love their music. There is no rhyme or reason to the music you will like. Nor should you have to explain what you like or dislike to anyone. Two of my favorite artists are the indie-band Avett Brothers and pop icon, P!nk. For too long I tried to reconcile these musical dichotomies by hiding my love of pop music, but that was stupid. Sometimes I just need skin-deep pop music! Do not put yourself in a box with music, be open, close your eyes and listen to a song, if it touches you keep listening and keep exploring that artist. Step away from the radio and stop listening to bands you loved in high school (just for now).

An Explanation as a Starting Point

I do things. None of them particularly well. You could say my constant curiosity about the new shiny thing in the distance keeps me from really perfecting a skill or learning a new topic. But this drive to discover new things, try them, and live to tell is what I have come to really like about myself...I'm definitely not boring. I have tried creating blogs that center on one aspect of my interests, but I'm too all over the place to keep to one topic. Besides that, having a blog dedicated to one topic implies I have knowledge enough to fill a blog which is just not true. That is why I created this catch-all blog. I hope you enjoy it.

(random obligatory picture of me fondling a kid with my kid)